


I Summon Thee

by pressuredrightnow



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Dark Swan, F/F, Post S4 Finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-02
Updated: 2015-09-02
Packaged: 2018-04-18 17:14:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4714025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pressuredrightnow/pseuds/pressuredrightnow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You once asked me what would be my selfish reason for using the dagger," she looked at the dagger at her hand before returning to Emma, "I just want you to answer one simple question. Why did you sacrifice yourself because I'm not buying that it's only for my happy ending."</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Summon Thee

**Author's Note:**

> Mistakes are all mine.

"Deep down I blame you for it but another part of me loves you for it," Emma smirked at a distressed Regina standing before her, "because I've never felt like this before. It's ironic, isn't it. You've been in the dark for so long, you've done things that people hate or wouldn't understand and now I understand and I don't want to give it up. Just like how you caved in when your mother returned and I hated you for it but now I understand why. Once you've seen it, and tasted it, and lived it... you can't go back"  
  
"But I managed to resist it. I've done things far worse from what you've done and don't even get me started on how many lives I've ruined," Regina took a step forward and rested her free hand on the bars of Emma's cell, "but I did it. With the help of Henry, your parents," Regina looked at Emma straight in the eyes before continuing.  
  
"And you, Emma. There are times that even Henry can't be there for me and your parents aren't really in my team at first. You were the one who made them believe that I'm a good guy, that I'm not out to destroy their happy endings anymore," Regina tightened her grip on the dagger as she took a deep breath.  
  
"Emma, this darkness... it doesn't make you who you are. It's the choices you are making that makes you who you are, the darkness inside you pushes you to do evil things but you can stop it. You can make the right choices, Emma. You can fight the darkness"  
  
"But I don't want to" Emma looked away from the older woman, her gaze landed on Regina's hand still on the bars.  
  
Regina doesn't need an explanation, she knew exactly what Emma meant. She was there before, she experienced all of it. The rush you get when you use your magic to get what you want, the superiority you feel whenever people bow down to you and follow your every order, the freedom you experience that you thought you will never get. The darkness lets the person feel all of that, it blinds you on what is really happening. It blinded Regina for a long time and a lot of damage was already done, a lot of things she wished she didn't do but she couldn't do anything about it now. All she can do is carry the burden of her mistakes for the rest of her life.  
  
She doesn't want Emma to do the same.  
  
"I showed up here knowing that you will know, you always manage to find me" she chuckled, "that sounded terrible, just like my parents"  
  
"Emma..."  
  
"I'm surprised that no one tried to summon me until now. If my parents kept the dagger I'm sure they would've called me a few days earlier to talk about how they missed me and all that crap so I'm assuming they didn't keep it," Emma said, she looked at the ceiling looking like she's thinking very hard on who kept her dagger even though Regina is holding the dagger beside her with a firm grip.  
  
"Hook, no. He would have called me too to... I don't know, try a true love's kiss. So that's also a load of crap," Emma blinked and a smile appeared on her face, like she just had an idea on who might be keeping the dagger.  
  
"That brings me to Henry, no... wait. That's not it, I'm sure you'll try to keep Henry from seeing me like this so..." Emma looked at Regina. The latter took a deep breath as Emma silently looked at her, the smile on her face slowly fading to a stoic one.  
  
"Why haven't you used the dagger, Regina?" it was a simple question but they both knew that it wasn't.  
  
'Because I don't want to control you' sounds to heroic for her taste and she knew she would have to use it sooner or later but she hopes for the best.  
  
'Because I know you need time to think about all this,' this is bullshit and Regina knows that. Being alone in the dark doesn't make a person think about 'all this', it brings back everything you've ever done in your life and shove it in your face while repeatedly saying how much of a failure you are.  
  
A lot of reasons ran through Regina's mind, every single one wanted to comfort Emma in her new state and that everything will be fine but she knew it won't be.  
  
Regina continued to stare into Emma's eyes, neither of them breaking contact. Emma's eyes weren't as green as Regina remembered, it dulled a bit and the brown part around her pupil darkened a lot that it almost looked like it was black. It felt like those eyes that used to look at her with softness and trust that made her feel warm and accepted inside only made her shiver, afraid, and lonely. No reason would sound real if she, herself, is afraid of Emma. And it struck her why she haven't used the dagger.  
  
"Regina?" Emma called again.  
  
"Because I'm scared" Regina admitted, looking away from those haunting eyes that she would remember forever, "I would by lying if I wasn't. You contained darkness for god's sake!" she closed her eyes and took one deep breath before opening her eyes again and continuing.  
  
"I'm scared that if I used the dagger to call you I would see you like this, consumed with darkness. I would see you suffering by being away from the people you love, suffering because the darkness is slowly killing what you are made of. And I'm afraid that it is because of me, everytime I claim my happy ending you're always the person who receives the other end. It's like fate tied us together to be like that, only one of us can get what we want, only one of us can be happy on the expense of the other," tears started to form at the corner of her eyes and Regina laughed at the absurdness of everything that is happening right now.  
  
"You sacrificed yourself for my happy ending and you think I will be happy? Do you think I can just move on with just a snap and be happy with Robin and Henry, who will also be devastated, by what you did? Did you think that you're not a part of my happy ending?" Regina looked at Emma with accusing eyes, the fact that Emma even thought of the last one sent her rage to the top.  
  
Emma just lowered her head and Regina shook her head lightly, her eyes never leaving the mess of blonde curls in front of her.  
  
"Did you," Regina's voice cracked, "think that you weren't a part of it?" she whispered as Emma continued to avoid her gaze.  
  
"Emma..."  
  
"You already have Henry, he's the one who filled the missing part of you after the first curse, he's your everything. Robin is your soulmate, the pixie dust confirmed it and it never fails. Regina, you already have what you need for a happy ending, a son that loves you with his whole being and a... soulmate that looks at you like you're his world. And me? I was the savior that was supposed to bring those happy endings, and I did. Well, everyone except me, but who cares? Nobody even bothered to ask me if I was happy"  
  
"I thought that being the dark one would make you smarter than your parents," Regina half heartedly smirked at her and Emma glared at her, "Did you ever thought about how that happened? Yes, Henry made me whole again but that was because of you. You let a piece of you break to fill another hole in someone else's heart and it was mine. I'm with Robin now because you defeated the Snow Queen with Elsa and save Marian from dying, then, you helped me find him when they went to the real world and save him from my sister. You were there every step I take on taking my happy ending. Did you think that I just needed you just for that? That you're just a dispensible object that can be replaced?"  
  
"I didn't come here for a heart to heart talk and you're not going to change my mind about how I sacrificed myself for you," Emma looked at her hand still holding the dagger, "I see that you're holding the dagger. If you said that you're not afraid of any of this I won't believe you, because that dagger says that you do. I'm glad that you're honest with me.  
  
"That's all I came here for, I just wanted to know why you haven't used it yet. I know you don't want to use it but you will have to, sooner or later. You will have to make a decision then because I'm not the savior everyone knows"  
  
"I'm not going to use the dagger"  
  
"Really? What if I threaten to hurt somebody? You're still going to stick to your decision? What if I go for more like... kill someone?"  
  
Regina knew that it wasn't an empty question. The Emma she knew wouldn't do any of those for fun or to prove a point but this Emma, the new dark one, would probably do. It's not only because of the darkness but her experiences that she went through that feeds the darkness inside her.  
  
"Then I will stop you"  
  
Emma scoffed, "do you really think that you can stop me? Regina, the dagger is there to control the dark one. My parents would have used it by now because they wanted to see me. Hook would've used it by now because he missed me. Everyone would've used it for their own selfish reasons, some might be darker and some might be just to say how disappointed they are. But you, you're not even using it to summon me. Are you going to wait until I'm hovering on someone's body and just waiting for the kill? C'mon Regina, everyone will use the dagger for their own selfish reasons." Emma stopped for a second, watching the other woman.  
  
"What's yours?"  
  
Emma baited her and Regina still refused to use the dagger.  
  
"This is boring, you're boring me, Regina. You're more exciting before this, before the curse broke, when you're still dark"  
  
Regina flinched.  
  
"If you're not going to talk anymore then I should go, I assume that if you're going to keep the dagger then I won't be summoned for quite some time" she stepped back from the bars, "until you've changed your mind then," then Emma disappeared with a puff of smoke.  
  


* * *

  
After days of thinking it over and over, repeatedly telling herself that she shouldn't and they would find the blonde woman sooner or later. They would find her. But weeks have passed and the hope that they would heroically save Emma from the darkness slowly died. Also, the atmosphere dulled whenever the Charmings visited an establishment infecting the other patrons and Henry and Regina doubled their efforts but it still led to nothing.  
  
Regina knew that she shouldn't, she told herself lots of times before. But the lonliness and the guilt pushed her to. She needed to see Emma.  
  
"So, you've used it," a grin appearing on Emma's lips, "I thought I'm going to wait until someone steals that from you."  
  
"You once asked me what would be my selfish reason for using the dagger," she looked at the dagger at her hand before returning to Emma, "I just want you to answer one simple question. Why did you sacrifice yourself because I'm not buying that it's only for my happy ending."  
  
Emma just stared at her. Her grin disappeared long from her face when Regina asked the question, her eyes now boring into hers. Her throat moved and Regina knew that she's trying to stop herself from following her orders.  
  
"What's your real reason, Emma?"  
  
Regina wasn't able to get a verbal answer but as Emma closed the distance between them, her hand around her waist and the other cradling her face. Well, it couldn't be much clearer.


End file.
